Ask Clutch, the Diamond Dog: Archive

*The ashes don't do anything else. Strangely, they're not blowing away.*

Clutch: ……weird.

Clip: Oh, you baby. Here, i’ll show ya it’s perfectly safe!

*she then went and touched the ashes with one of her hooves.*

Clip: See, perfectly harmless!

((OoC: will continue tomorrow, lolbedtime is now.))

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

Clutch: Okay, show of hands/hooves, people/ponies.....

Who saw Turning Tricks going insane coming?

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

*The ashes glow brighter as you get closer*

Clutch: Get ready, Clip. Whatever happens next, let’s be done with it….

Clip: Sure….whatever you say…….

*they both stepped towards it until they were almost in front of it, before stopping*

Clutch: ……alright. Whatever’s going on…….whoever it is there…..get it over with, ok? We’re ready……

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

things were going pretty well, i ran my razor, all was swell, but after that i'd rather not tell. lets just say i got too... naaaaauuuuughty.~

Clutch: Ah, I see. Welp, there’s plenty of other Rarities out there, dude. Ya just gotta look for ‘em, alright?

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

*The ashes glow lightly when you get near.*

both: WOAH!

*they were startled, but they both held their ground.*

Clutch: Don’t worry, Clip. I’ll keep ya safe from…..whatever happens.

Clip: Gee, thanks…..I feel SO safe with you around….

Clutch: Oh hah hah, very funny…..let’s keep focused on this, okay?

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

*You see a pile of ashes on the ground.*

Clutch: …..welp, this is interestin’……

Clip: …..yeah, what you said…..

*They both carefully inch towards the ashes, not sure what would happen next.*

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

even though you've been split in two, by and through some unknown coup, i'm here because i'm as bored as you.

Clutch: Ah, I see. What happened between you and Rarity? I though you went over and were likely gonna be happy from then on….

Oct 31, 20110 notes

i've been sitting out side your window staring, watching bright lights and mistakes glaring, a constant stream of ceaseless erring, brought on by a faceless force.

Clutch: Oh……it’s you again.

Clip: Who’s that guy, Clutch?

Clutch: Don’t pay him any mind. I thought I was done with him the last time we met……

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

Clutch: ……somethin’ tells me all the fun stuff’s already happened and we’ve missed out on EVERYthing……

Clip: Don’t worry, Clutch, I guess…..that’s just what happens sometimes…..

*The house is quiet as they sit down, expecting…..SOMEthing…….but it was as if nothing would ever come…..*

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

Clutch: I guess that’s it, Clip?

Clip: Looks like things are quiet now. For a moment, I thought we were in danger! *She then giggled a bit.*

Clutch: Welp, that’s always good. Still, I got a bad feelin’ about tonight….

Clip: Oh hush, you! We’ll be fine……

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

*you see a random pony with a fog machine strapped to his back.* "I'm a cloud. Trick or Treat."

Clutch: …..whew. Don’t spook me like that, kid! Ya almost gave me a heart attack!

Clip: *giggling a bit* Don’t worry about the silly old Diamond Dog, dear…..here you go!

*she then hoofed over a candy bar to them*

Both: Hope ya have a happy Nightmare Night!

Clutch: ……Thank Fate it was only that. I swear I get paranoid too easily, Clip…..

Clip: Don’t worry, we’ll be fine. It’s a nice quite night tonight, dear…..relax!

Oct 31, 20111 note

*You then hear a knock on the door*

Clutch: ….oh Fate……..I’m not sure….if I should answer it….but i’ll do it. Clip…ya prob. should step back.

*Clip then nodded and backed away a couple feet. Clutch nervously placed a paw on the door, shaking, and then slowly opened the door all the way.*

Clutch: …..h-hello..?…..a-anypony….t-t-there……?

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

*The mist is flowing into Clutch’s house, and they both start to run out of space to move to.*

Clutch: Uh……what do we do now, Clip?

Clip: …..to be honest…….i’m afraid now…….

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

*You see mist flowing from the direction Fluttershy's house was. It then slows down, and starts following you.*

*in Clutch’s home, he sees a mist starting to seep through the front door.*

Clutch: Uh….Clip…..might wanna move away from that……

Clip: Oh….kay Clutch….whatever you say….ya schmuck.

*They slowly start backing away from it, not sure exactly what would happen next.*

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

Welp, tonight might get interestin'.....

Clutch: Seems like there’s a Succubus goin’ around tonight doin’ stuff to Mares, which seems weird to me.

Clip: Do you think…..i’ll be….okay?

Clutch: Don’t worry Clip, yer gonna be fine. It’d always quiet around here usually, so nopony would even think of comin’ in here. Even if they wanna do so, I got the doors locked.

Clip: Thanks….I guess.

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

made avatar and tumblr name change to fit recent events....

Clutch: Now we’re BOTH runnin’ this tumblr. So if ya got anythin’ to ask us…

Clip: Go ahead, we don’t bite…..well, he won’t….I on the other hand….heh heh heh….

Oct 31, 20110 notes

Looks like your body gave up. It just channeled the magic so you would finally split into two forms...How does that feel? I've only seen this happen once before and I've never gotten a chance to take notes.

Clutch: It felt like at first we were stitched together, and then it was like something ripped us apart….

Clip: Yeah……It’s like now I can finally be my own new self now….

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

See, this is what happens when you let people you don't know control your life.

Clutch: …uh….I think this got stranger just now, Shy…

Clip: ….yeah…..uh….what he said…..

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

*the magic engulfed Clip, and she then felt a great tearing from inside of her. Soon, she felt her body being split in two...*

*Right then, two forms split apart from what was once one. A Pegasus Mare and a Diamond Dog were now standing next to each other, confused about what just happened. They looked at each other, and were shocked a moment later by what they saw.*

Clutch: What the-…..it’s YOU…er….ME….er…..you know what I mean!

Clip: …..this feels weird……….

Both: What the buck just happened..?

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

*poof* You now have a unicorn horn that looks like a penis.

………WAT……..

…..that’s……THAT’S……….

*suddenly it glows, and envolopes Clip in a glowing energy.*

….oh Fate, that can’t be good……

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

I swear this changing is crazy. If one more change happens, who knows WHAT will happen to me next.....

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

Here...*hands you a Nurse costume*

……not sure if should laugh or blush now…….

*takes the nurse costume.*

…..if I can’t get anything better than this by tonight, i’ll wear it….but any funny ideas, and i’ll cave yer face in.

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

I almost forgot....it's Nightmare Night! and I don't even have a costume.......can anypony help me out? Give me a costume, change my form, anything will do for me!

thecreeperpony:

you dont consider being a pony a costume?

welp, not exactly……besides, tbh, it’s not really that scary when ya think about it.

I hope I get get something good either worn or be changed into by tonight, since I wanna make a good impression for my first Nightmare Night ever.

Oct 31, 20112 notes

I almost forgot....it's Nightmare Night! and I don't even have a costume.......can anypony help me out? Give me a costume, change my form, anything will do for me!

Oct 31, 20112 notes

Send me a dirty message on anon, and if I'm too embarrassed to post it, you win.

gummybearofdoom:

holyshitmyporncollection:

I don’t actually want any of you inside me. Or at least not too deep.

I’m not afraid at all. My inbox is always lolempty normally, so I regret nothing doing this.

Oct 31, 201126,931 notes

with all this form changing i'm going through, I feel so confused......when will it end? ;_;

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

What'cha listening to? If nothing, what's your favorite song?

I’m currently listening to the Sonic Generations OST at the moment.

Some of this stuff is awesome….but given Sonic Team’s track record, that’s a no-brainer by now….

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

Hocus Pocus*flash of ligth*....your a mare...

…..and now i’m a Mare…..again…..AGAIN…..

…..this form change war between you and that anon’s gonna last all day, ain’t it?

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

*knocks off your stupid hat.* it made you look like a douche anyways.

welp, the hat’s off now…….now i’m not sure if i’m a mare or a Diamond Dog now…..

…….I feel confused……

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

eeeeeeyup, now a mare again, and the cap got changed......yeesh, can't ANYpony make up their mind here with what I should be? I swear to Fate this is gonna last all day, isn't it...?

Oct 31, 20110 notes

*comes back with The Big Book of enchantments* there we go...*throws some stuff on you* daya maia kukkur*thes a flach of ligth* ahh now its a Curst Cap of the mare....ehehehe

……so, back to this mare form again, eh?

……I feel okay…..yet also so confused by now……..

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

So......I guess that's it then? Back to a Diamond Dog I go then soon-ish? .....oh well.....was nice havin' wings and enjoying things while it lasted....... *le sigh*

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

Today is gonna be crazy, I can feel it.....i'll soon be a Diamond Dog again, but knowin' Gamer Colt, that's gonna change soon.....except for the lolcap on me..........good Fate, i'm confused......

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

How about something new? *KA-MOOSE*

*can’t be changed due to lolcap atm.*

Oct 31, 20110 notes

*makes you drink another one of those potions and makes you wear the baseball cap of magic resistance*

…..and once again i’ll soon be a Diamond Dog again……..

nice cap, though…..I guess…..

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

So........i'm not sure what's gonna happen next.....that anon seemed to not do anythin' else since.......so imma wait and see.....

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

*uses Magic to turn you back into Mare*

……welp, i’m still a Mare? that’s interestin’…….

……5 bits says gamer colt and that anon spend the rest of the day changin’ me back and forth between Mare and Diamond Dog form…..

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

*forces you to drink the turn-back-to-a-diamond-dog-because-they're-cool-and-because-generator-ponies-suck-balls potion* good, now you don't suck nearly as much.

……welp, that just happened.

Looks like when i’m back home, i’m back to my original form then. It was nice while it lasted……I guess…….

*le sigh*

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

so hows life as a mare gowing

Eh, it’s alright so far. Pretty quiet, but it’s all good.

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

((OoC: Looks like that's it then! Back to normal shenanigans it is! I might do this kinda thing again if others want me to. Anywho, back to your normally-scheduled blarg from me for the week.))

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

((OoC: Mornin' guys. I guess that's about it for Sexual Sunday and back to normal, eh? If ya have ANYTHING else ya wanna send related to it, last chance is now. 15 minutes from now, back to normal for me, no questions asked, so do it now if you have anything left to send to me about it.))

Oct 31, 2011-1 notes

((OoC: heading to bed now. if you got anything else you wish to send, do it before it hits midnight. I'll deal with it when I wake up, and then it's back to normal for this tumblr.))

Oct 30, 2011-1 notes

Rape a Princess~ :D

WELP……that’s interestin’…….I guess I have to go through with that….

….but not tonight. I’ll do it tomorrow…..

*le sigh*

Oct 30, 2011-1 notes

Sexual Sunday ends for me in about 15 minutes, since lolcollege tomorrow. If ya got anything to send, do it now. Otherwise, yeah....

Oct 30, 20110 notes

...I don't want to know.

yeah…..a lot of crazy stuff happened the past two days……thus why i’m now a Pegasus Mare…..

…..yeah, I don’t have much to say either about this….

Oct 30, 2011-1 notes

So.....I guess that's it for any new messages for me for the night? I guess the anons and everypony else is done with me then....

Oct 30, 2011-1 notes

Suck off the next thing you see with a dick.

Oh…..kay…….

Welp, not sure if want or not….but a dare’s a dare….

*le sigh*

Oct 30, 2011-1 notes

Show us your penis.

well……i’m currently a mare now, as you could tell.

If ya had said so before that one anon got to me, perhaps, but yer kinda too late. Perhaps you can ask me to do somethin’ else then?

Oct 30, 2011-1 notes

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - Dark Applebloom

Now i’m suddenly imagining *ApplebloomDerelle.jpeg* right now.

pretty funny indeed.

Oct 30, 2011-1 notes

SUCK OFF ANOTHER DIAMOND DOG!

…….I didn’t see that coming…….

…..still, even if I wanted to, there’s kinda no other Diamond Dogs around here on tumblr to do so to…….welp, there’s those three, but they’ve dissapeared…..

……so unless more show up soon, yeah.

Oct 30, 2011-1 notes

Ask Clutch, the Diamond Dog

November 2011

October 2011